Role Model Eminem

Ok, I'm going to attempt to drown myself.
You can try this at home,
You can be just like me.

(Mic check 1 2, we recording?)

I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this
If ya responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I'll strangle you to death, then I'll choke you again
Then broke your fucking legs til your bones poke through your skin (Ahh)
You've beef with me, I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally
I get you blunted off of funny home grown
'Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono (Oh no!)
So if I said I never did drugs
That would mean I lie and get fucked more that the President does
Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I ripped her fucking tonsils out and fed her sherbert (bitch)
My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (fucker)
Every girl I ever went out with was going les'
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
Smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink
Jump behind wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask a for date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignoring skill
'Cause I stand out like a green hat with an orange bill
But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white, I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave

Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I slap women and eat shrooms, then O.D.
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole,
When we heard a knock on the door (knock), must've been Ron Gold'
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
Killed 'em both then smeared blood on the white Bronco (We did it!)
My mind won't work and my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player just an ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray an aerosol can up at the ozone layer (*psssssssh*)
My rap style's warped, I'm runnin' out the morgue
With your dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch (*scream*)
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm about as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother, are you there, I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel (Evil laugh)
Will someone please explain to my brain
That I just severed a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain
I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts
'Cause if you ain't tiltin' this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it's probably obvious I got it on with her
'Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk and with a fake ID
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I've been with 10 women who got HIV
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
You probably wanna grow up the just like me